How Solving Your Disagreements
Can Save Your Marriage
As much as nobody likes them,
disagreements are part of every relationship.
Many times it is the unresolved disagreements between a couple that can
lead to a divorce. While not everyone
will agree all of the time, it is important in a relationship to learn how to
discus your disagreements and how to solve them.
Whenever you are involved in a disagreement, do
not put off disusing it until another time.
It is vital to resolve the issue at hand right then and there before the
problem gets any bigger. Disagreements
cannot always be avoided, but you can change the way you talk. Refrain from arguing with one another. Arguments will undoubtedly lead to breakdowns
in the communication between the couple, which causes even more problems. It is best for each of you to keep an open
mind whenever talking to one another. In
order to avoid arguing and to continue with a discussion, remember these simple
tips.
The first tip is to refrain from being defensive
during the discussion. Defensiveness
will only cause your spouse to argue more and it may lead to more strains in
your marriage. Also, do not bring up past
mistakes. This bad habit will only turn
your smallest disagreements into serious and complicated arguments. Forgiveness is the key to a good marriage. Learning how to forgive is like a marriage
reset button. Without forgiveness,
little actions seem huge because of all of the past baggage they drudge
up.
Also, do not fall into negative patterns in the
way you relate to one another. Some of
these negative patterns include emotionally and/or physically hurting your
spouse. Sometimes the only way that
someone can express their hurt is to hurt back.
Rather then hurting your partner, you will, without a doubt, hurt your
marriage instead. The day will certainly
come when your spouse will say "enough is enough" and your marriage
will be over for good.
Disagreements can be had over many things. But these disagreements can be avoided when
certain behaviors are modified. For
instance, leave jealousy out of the relationship and recognize it when it
appears. Jealousy can lead to irrational
thoughts, feelings and actions leading to arguments and defensiveness in your
spouse. Also, do not break your promises
or be an undependable spouse. Promises
that are broken will pave the way for distrust in the marriage. Saying you will do something and then actually
doing it will most definitely avoid a disagreement. Replace these unhealthy behaviors with a
positive one like support.
Showing support to your spouse tells them that
you are willing to stick with them through thick and thin. When it seems like your partner has a
problem, show him that you are willing to listen and support them all the
way. After listening to their problem,
if you are sure that they are wrong, do not express your thoughts right away. Instead, show understanding of how they might
be feeling about the problem. Then help
them to solve their problem by urging and encouraging them to come up with the
solutions on their own. In this way you
can be a good example for your spouse so the next disagreement will contain a
better understanding and respect for one another.
