Save Your Marriage - Reduce Arguments and Problems
WHY DO PEOPLE MARRY?
To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better,
for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us
part. Remember the day on which you said this? Relive it. Mean it. One cannot
hope to love unless he/she loves.
Basic questions are important to be settled at the start
like inquiring about your spouse's goals in life, ambitions, aspirations,
number of children expected, and ways to keep passion and physical affection
continue in marriage. A lack of this is the greatest blow that can ever hit you
at one time in your life.
HOW DO YOU TELL OF AN IMPENDING MARITAL DISASTER?
This may only be an old wife's remedy but here is simple
test to know if your spouse loves you: When was the last time you went on a
date with your spouse? When was the last time you shared a quiet moment with
him/her? When was the last time you bought flowers/gifts for each other? When
was the list time both of you talked (not argue) for more than an hour?
If the answers to these questions is 'more than 6
months', or 'I don't remember', the alarms should be going off.
AT THE BRINK OF ARGUMENT?
Play it cool by keeping your temper. If you shower
him/her with insults, negative remarks or physical assault, you will declare
war against your spouse. The situation is a reality to be accepted. The angry
reaction almost always backfires. Try using a different approach, the by ways
are plentiful.
EMOTIONS FELT WHEN THERE IS MARITAL CRISIS?
First is the feeling of devastation, as if there is a
great loss. You should NOT try to improve your communications skills to keep
your marriage. Use your heart instead. Appeal to his/her feelings, be it love
or guilt. When marriage is at the brink of disaster, learning more
communications skills will only offer you and your spouse the use of better
words to fight more often. Using simple approaches with sincerity works best from
the experience of many couples who have successfully repaired their damaged
relationship.
HOW TO HANDLE INFIDELITY?
Then, assess how deeply the extent of the relationship
is. Tell him/her to give you space and enough time to think things out. Arrange
a civilized meeting with your spouse after your rage has subsided. There should
be counsellors available in your community to help you out.
START WITH THE RIGHT MINDSET, AND THE END IN MIND
Going to resolve any friction or disagreements between
you and your spouse with a disgruntled attitude will only aggravate things.
Focus on the pleasant things and good times. From the bible: "Go and
humble yourself; press your plea with your neighbor!" Do not confront your
spouse with a superior attitude.
HELPFUL GUIDELINES
Sometimes relationships are lost because the individual
fears to face the truth. There is history of unhappiness behind words and you
cannot change history since a history of dissatisfaction has built up. Learn to
let go of the past. Learn to listen more not only with your ears but also
with your heart. Never break a promise. Recall the memories of your courtship;
relive the thrill and excitement you shared on your dates, the places you have
visited and your honeymoon. Love is letting go of fear.
HOW CAN YOU PRESERVE AND NURTURE YOUR MARRIAGE?
Strive to eat at least one meal a day together. By going
on a date, there is no alternative than to dress up to show your spouse how
attractive you still are. Schedule a date night. You should improve your communications
skills to keep your marriage. Show a smile, and keep it on (Unless you just got
into trouble). Its easy to pick a fight with a sour-faced person, but how angry
can we get at a smiling, easy-going spouse? Plus, smiling also improves your
own mood and will help you overlook tiny flaws that may usually irk you.
CAN MY MARRIAGE BE SAVED?
Follow a simple system in building positive marriage
skills. There are plenty of literature online and in print to help you through
a rough patch. You will be a better person, a better parent and a better
spouse. The answer is positive. You will re-discover the joy and sanctity of
marriage, and the amazing person you said 'I do' to some time ago.
Save Your Marriage & Avoid Divorce. If There is Hope,
There is a Way. Click here for details.
Be like the grass in the wind. The storm can uproot
trees, but only brush harmlessly past the emerald blades which are at peace
with the world.
Article Source: EzineArticles.com - Save Your Marriage - Reduce Arguments and Problems
